“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Wayne Dyer, 1940 – 2015
I saw Wayne Dyer speak two years ago on the UT campus here in Austin. I found him to be funny, vibrant, and spot-on with his quips about life. He was both articulate and impatient as he urged us to get on with it and stop complaining.
What I like about Wayne Dyer’s quote — “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” — is that it speaks a basic truth. One very similar to author Anais Nin’s quote that I see daily on social media: “We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”
It’s true, isn’t it?
The way we see and interpret life depends upon our unique perspective, combined with our attitude and our past experiences. When we look at something or someone, we view them and the situation from one place — our personal life.
As a former teacher of literature and writing, I tried to explain this to my students. For example, if a person is dealing with addiction, our interpretation of them and their situation will be biased by our own beliefs about and experiences with addiction. We can’t truly know their individual pain, only a reflection of it, a reflection clouded by who we are.
Over the years I’ve discovered that we are adept at this — clouding our vision and getting in the way. We mostly see ourselves, or a reflection of ourselves. We rarely see things as they truly are.
Rather than seeing and empathizing with a true and clear heart, we are quick to internalize the experience and say to ourselves (or worse to speak it out loud), “If it were me I would (wouldn’t) do x, y, or z.”
It’s not a horribly bad thing that we see and experience the world from a narrow point of view. It’s really all we have; consider it your launching pad, a built-in home base. However, I do believe (and of course, this belief is rooted in my unique experience) that if we stay planted and never leave that home base, we’ll miss out on a rich and varied life.
That day in 2013 at Bass Concert Hall, my daughter and I sat among 2,000 participants and listened to Wayne Dyer’s 90 minute presentation. During that short time I learned that if I can change the way I view my world, I can create a world in which I want to live.
I realized that as long as I believe my isolation to be true, I will feel isolated. As long as I believe the world to be difficult, I will struggle. As long as I perceive danger around me, I will live in fear…..and so on, and so on.
In honor of Wayne Dyer’s life, I want to share my new prayer, a mantra of sorts: Grant me the grace to see things as they are, not as I am.
When I ask for this kind of guidance, my focus shifts and amazing things happen!
Suddenly it’s easier to remain neutral and experience moments of true contentment. I realize that most situations in life don’t warrant a response (certainly not one from me); and I can hear, truly hear, that silence is golden. Instead of pushing headlong into a dialogue about the state of our world, I can rest and enjoy that which is our world.
All this brings me great relief, especially as I share my thoughts with you. At first I felt a great burden about what I might say, but now I understand that in my commitment to help better our world, my place in it is of little significance.
The ability to see things as they are might, in fact, be enough.
Sources
Doyle, Sady. “Before Lena Dunham, there Anais Nin, patron saint of social media.” The Guardian. 7 April, 2015. http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2015/apr/07/anais-nin-author-social-media August 31, 2015.
Moyer, Justin, Wm. “Wayne Dyer, best-selling self-help guru and friend of Oprah, dead at 75.” The Washington Post. August 31, 2015. http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/08/31/wayne-dyer-best-selling-self-help-guru-and-friend-of-oprah-dead-at-75/ August 31, 2015.
Photo by Lynda Jones, France, 2010.
Thanks Lynda,
It is good practice to ‘look, not label.’
We tend to so quickly try to place everything we see into our existing template of knowledge, rather than just observe, learn something fresh.
I like that — “our existing template of knowledge.” That’s all it really is, isn’t it? Just a template from which we frame our decisions about life. Change the template, change your life! A good image to work with.
Thanks again Lynda for a great topic! Seems like it should be so simple…
I do find as I go through challenging times in my life, that it does change my perspective on my world. I love the mantra, “Grant me the grace to see things as they are, not as I am.” ?
I’ve been trying to embrace the challenges in life and accept them, work through them and learn. Not always easy, but important.
I so love Wayne Dyer – such a wise and compassionate man. Love your new mantra!
He will be missed by so many….his teachings will be with us always.
How liberating to take off the blinders and remove the filters that either detract from or enhance what truly is! Certainly the world doesn’t need our constant editorializing, but it does need our constant striving to reach out to others where they are in their journey, without judgement or preconception. A challenge to be sure! Thanks for your friendship and constant inspiration. I smile when I see WiseTide in my inbox!
We are connected in heart and spirit, and what a blessing! Even though I try not to attach emotions to the outcome of each post, your affirmations are helpful and encouraging. Thank you for your constant support and kind praise, for your insight and wise words. They help me more than you know!
I love your new mantra and Charlie’s “existing template of knowledge.” Everything is filtered through our own experience. I’ve always believed that wider experience opens up the “existing template of knowledge,” but that’s from my unique perspective. 😉
I agree! That wider experience opens us up in many ways, let’s the template shift and grow, don’t you think? I’m glad to have had the opportunities I’ve had to learn and change, to transition into a truer version of myself. You’ve been there all along the way! Hugs!
Linda, that was beautiful, we all need to look differently at the world, and change how we see our family and friends.
Thank you
Yes we do! True contentment seems possible if we can let go of our preconceived notions about people and circumstances. We free ourselves and them at the same time. Such a beautiful gift!
A beautiful piece, Lynda. I was reminded of the wisdom of Oliver Sacks, the other great thinker who just died, who said:
“Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.”
Such a beautiful quote, Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing. It is miraculous that we are all here, isn’t here? A great privilege. A great adventure.
Lynda: This post left me speechless and calm. And then I emailed the link to a dozen or so people. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. And for the way you get it down in writing. Sometimes we have these ideas and flickers of genius, and you are doing so well recording yours. Love it.
Thank you, Dana. Your encouragement really helps! I am trying to capture as many opportunities as I can. I appreciate you sharing these with your friends, sending the ripple effect forward and outward.